Summary
Despite the silly nature and dialogue ofPaper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, the characters can be surprisingly serious and compelling throughout the series. Although their own mini-arcs are hardly the focus of the game, they do evolve as you progress through the game, becoming more comfortable and confident in their skills and abilities.
These surprisingly relatable narratives and characterizations are really comforting at times. This bordering-on-ridiculous Mario game absolutely has no right to craft such heartfelt narratives and characters, but it does anyway - and with no regrets. Perhaps taking the time to understand and relate to your favorite characters can help you understand and improve yourself.
Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
WHERE TO PLAY
Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door is a remake of the well-loved RPG first released on the GameCube. Relive this iconic adventure that turns 2D on its head and turns Mario and the Mushroom Kingdom into paper.
Aries - Yoshi Kid
March 21 - April 19
Yoshi Kid came right out of the egg, ready to pick a fight and throw down with anyone who got in his way. He was, quite literally, born right next to the Glitz Pit, so his fierce attitude is understanding. His competitive spirit is what is most important to him, taking priority even over getting his own name.
Chances are, as an Ares, you feel much the same way. You thrive for the competition and for a chance to take on the world. Fierce and determined, you, like Yoshi Kid, were born to dominate.
Taurus - Madame Flurrie
April 20 - May 20
Ironic as it may be that Taurus is an earth sign and Madame Flurrie an air spirit, she truly does embody the traits of a Taurus. Madame Flurrie delights in her luxury (even if she is willing to rough it at times) and understands that her appearance is important. She does what she needs to ensure that she’s always looking her best and that the environment around her is about as soothing as it can get.
As a Taurus, you likely relate to the need to try and make things comfortable and serene - of course, dabbling in luxury is a great way to achieve this. Perhaps a little bit of adventure and a change of scenery could do you some good, though.
Gemini - Goombella
May 21 - June 20
Goombella is clever and witty and has a lot to say. More often than not,this leads to her having some of the best things to say. Her insatiable curiosity leads her to join Mario on his adventures, chasing down history and information at every turn. Of course, her academic nature doesn’t make her overly serious, and she still makes room to play and have fun.
Like Goombella, if you’re a Gemini, chances are that you’re also incredibly curious. Whether this takes you on wild adventures or deep into the world of academics is up to you, but it’s likely that nothing will stop you from pursuing your desires.
Cancer - Vivian
June 21 - July 22
Vivian has had a hard life, and her sisters certainly haven’t made it any easier on her. If anything, Beldam has done everything in her power to make Vivian’s life all the harder. However, Vivian is still incredibly sweet and intuitive. Even if it means leaving her family and everything she has known, she’s willing to do what she must in order to find a better, emotionally safe place for herself. Perhaps being abandoned in what is canonicallyone of the most unnerving regions in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Doordidn’t help her relationship with her sisters, but in the end, it likely worked out for the best.
Like Vivian, you likely will do whatever it takes to defend yourself emotionally. But you should be careful not to let that stop you from some potentially fantastic relationships. Chances are that Mario won’t just show up on your doorstep, so perhaps you should go seek out your Mario for yourself.
Leo - Bowser
July 23 - August 22
Bowser is an absolute delight to play, as in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. He’s incredibly dedicated to his goal of finding Princess Peach and the Crystal Stars. Of course, his success is middling at best, and he’s an absolute drama queen about it, but that’s what makes him fun!
If you’re a Leo, chances are you’re just as fiery of a personality. You probably don’t actually breathe fire, but that’s fine! Your passionate and fun demeanor more than make up for the lack of fire breath.
Virgo - Mario
August 23 - September 22
Mario has a lot going on, as per usual. He showed up to get some treasure and was almost immediately dragged into a much more complicated plot to save the world. Not only does he have to find Princess Peach, but he needs to jump through all of these hoops to get the Crystal Stars first. However, he is determined and will get it done no matter what.
Like Mario, you’re probably driven to achieve your goal at any cost, sharpening your skills along the way. If only it were so easy as picking one of three stats every so often - progress is much slower in real life, but it is there (just have some faith in yourself!).
Libra - Admiral Bobbery
September 23 - October 22
Admiral Bobbery, despite being a Bob-omb, doesn’t actually have a super explosive personality. He’s certainly fierce, but he also has his calmer moments - more than willing to step away for a moment to compose himself when his emotions grow too fierce. His age has taught him a great deal of wisdom, especially in regard to understanding his emotions and his heart (even if he needed a friendly reminder from his late wife.
If you’re a Libra, then you are probably just as well composed as Admiral Bobbery most of the time. You probably have your Bob-omb explosive moments, but overall, you’re likely very in tune with your heart and your emotions.
Scorpio - Koops
October 23 - November 21
Even if most of the world viewed Koops as a little iffy and not all that courageous, his willingness to go and fight Hooktail makes him one of the bravest characters in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. Bravery and courage are not about being fearless - they are about being willing to do the right thing, even when it scares you. Koops certainly fits into this definition, taking on Hooktail and joining Mario in his endeavor to hunt down the Crystal Stars and save the world.
If you’re a Scorpio, you probably understand this lesson well and are more than willing to defend your moral grounds and opinions with every last breath. Just remember that you aren’t alone in your adventure, and you don’t have to fight alone.
Saggitarius - Professor Frankly
November 22 - December 21
Professor Frankly is quite the notorious scholar and archeologist in Rogueport. However, he doesn’t seem to do much fieldwork anymore. While Professor Frankly likely had his fill of physical adventures in his youth, he’s shifted toward more academic journeys, living vicariously through the fit and able-bodied Mario. If nothing else, Professor Frankly is determined to see this adventure through to the end.
Like Professor Frankly, if you’re a Saggitarius, you likely chase after any adventure that you may. When a barrier arrives, you pivot and find a new way to adventure. When something gets in your way or tries to stop your journey, you are very capable of finding your way to your goal anyway.
Capricorn - Ms. Mowz
December 22 - January 19
One of the most important virtues that a thief can hold is patience. You must wait for the perfect opportunity to swoop in and claim your prize, and Ms. Mowz knows this well. It’s why she can alwaysget her hands on the best badgesto sell to you later. Not only is she a highly skilled thief, but she has the temperament to match: patient and dedicated to her goals.
You probably aren’t running a legal business that depends on illegally acquired stock, but if you’re a Capricorn, you could… theoretically. You understand that taking your time is important and that all good things come to those who wait and persevere. However, a bit of initiative doesn’t hurt either (please don’t do anything illegal).
