Summary
When you’re playing games likePaper Mario: The Thousand-Year Dooryou have to give yourself some room for the suspension of disbelief. Not everything is going to make sense, nor does everything need to make sense. But even still, sometimes it’s a little bit fun to apply some real-world expectations to these silly games.
Of course, when you start applying real-world logic to Paper Mario, a whole slog of issues come to light, and not all of them are pretty. Some of the issues you come across are notably annoying and don’t make sense, even when you’re not applying real-world logic.
7Mario’s House Only Has His Name
Luigi Doesn’t Matter, Apparently
Despite the fact that Mario and Luigi very clearly live in the same house, as indicated at the beginning of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, Luigi’s name is nowhere to be found. It’s already weird enough that Mario’s name is plastered on the front of his house, but shouldn’t Luigi get his name somewhere too?
After all, it isn’t like he’s not as well-known as Mario. He goes on his own adventures and saves the world in his own way. Not to mention that Pennington mistakes Mario for being Luigi, which does imply that Luigi, in some circles, is substantially more famous than Mario is.
6Nobody Cares What Mario Has To Say
Everybody Talks Over Him All The Time
Even though Mario is noted to be this hero of legend, well known and regarded (mostly), the majority of people he talks to barely listen to what he has to say. There are only a few times in which Mario can offer something relatively “meaningful” in the conversation to point it in a specific direction, and it doesn’t happen often.
The majority of conversations in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door don’t involve this so-called hero in any capacity. As you play through the game, it becomes apparent that so long as Mario can continue to fight and run around, his opinions on the situation don’t matter in the slightest.
5Nobody Can Keep Their Mouths Shut
It genuinely does seem like the moment an enemy or suspicious character alludes to an important piece of information, your companions will just tell them everything important. Mario’s mission would be better served on the down-low, but no, everybody has to talk all the time and announce their plans to the world.
Sure, it can lead to some funny lines, but there are times when they just need to be quiet for a bit. Even when you’re in the vents above the Glitz Pit, the fact that your companions feel compelled to talk nearly gets you caught. The fact that Mario never snaps or gives you the option to tell them to be quiet is a testament to his patience.
4The Rogueport Rivalry Seems Nonexistent
Are they Just Claiming To Not Get Along?
Despite Ishnail claiming that there’s some kind of rivalry going on between the Robbo Gang and Don Pinata’s crew, there doesn’t actually seem to be any visible animosity. You’re warned not to get too cozy with one side or another and yet, when you inevitably do try to help out Francesca and Frankie, there’s no kind of backlash.
It simply doesn’t make sense that one would claim there is a rivalry and tension, and then it’s simply not there. Either Ishanil is just paranoid and making it up or the game forgoes that tension simply to keep the story light,making Rogueport feel as a relatively enjoyable and calm area.
3Everyone Is Seemingly Fine With Rawk Hawk’s Cheating
Don’t Eat The Cake
Despite the fact that Rawk Hawk admits to cheating as a way to not only gain but to keep his title as the Champion of the Glitz Pit, nobody seems to mind. Sure, he tells everyone that he’s not going to do it again, but that doesn’t really mean much.
The damage has already been done and, by all logic, Rawk Hawk shouldn’t be allowed to participate anymore. Yes, Grubba was a bigger issue than Rawk’s cheating, but that doesn’t excuse anything. Rawk Hawk still tainted the sport with his underhanded actions and nobody cares in the slightest.
2You Can See That The Thousand-Year Door Was Closed…
We’re Just Going To Believe This Guy?
“Professor Frankly” claims that Sir Grodus went through the door with Peach and yet, you can clearly see that the door is closed. He says that they must have used some kind of special method to pass through the door, but there’s absolutely no sign that anyone was there.
Not to mention, if they had a special method to pass through the door, why wouldn’t they have used it before? What would the point have been to gather all of the Crystal Stars? This is an absolute failure of logic on Mario’s part, who just goes along with it.
You already know that there is a character who can copy people’s appearances and voices and yet, Mario just doesn’t question anything. He is way, way too trusting and his companions are far too happy to go along with it.
1Taking On Troubles Doesn’t Solve Anything
Does This Actually Solve Anyone’s Problems?
No matter how many Troubles you take from the Trouble Board, you may notice that nobody seems to have their issues solved. Characters still rant about how they were scammed and are looking for revenge. The situation in Rogueport doesn’t improve in the slightest.
All that really happens is that you occasionally get a great rewardand everyone goes back to being miserable and having issues. Perhaps that says something about how you’re able to’t wait for Mario to come around and fix your life for you - because he really can’t. Even still, you’d think that doing all of these Troubles would improve something or other.
